Bella enjoys throwing things in the bin for me, putting things away, and helping me empty the dishwasher. She also helps me “vacuum” the floor every morning and wipes down the table after meals. She’s been showing a lot more interest in doing chores ever since she started walking independently at around 13 months old. If your toddler is in a similar phase, they are entering what Montessori calls the “sensitive period” for wanting to help. In the beginning, they might create more mess than help, which can make you hesitant to let them assist. However, it’s important to remember that learning often involves making mistakes. If we don’t let them try (just because we fear they’ll make a mess), they won’t have the chance to learn. Furthermore, giving your toddler opportunities to help around the house makes them feel independent and valuable. They have a natural desire to contribute and gain confidence and joy from having their own roles and responsibilities. When your toddler helps out, it’s also important to appreciate their EFFORT instead of rewarding or praising the outcome. For example: ❌Don’t say: “Wow, great job! You’re such a good boy/girl for cleaning up!” ✅Do say: “Thank you for helping mommy clean up; I really appreciate it.” If you’re always worried about the mess your toddler might make, you unintentionally teach them to fear failure. Instead, try to accept their mistakes and appreciate their effort while guiding them through the process. For example: ❌Don’t say: “You’re making more mess than helping; maybe you should do something else.” ✅Do say: “I can see you’re trying hard to help mommy out; thank you for that! Would you like mommy to show you how it’s done?” This principle applies not only to chores but also to everything they do when they are trying to learn something new. Read more: 1. https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/articles/good-praising-why-weve-got-to-stop-praising-our-kids 2. https://centercitypediatrics.com/praise-failure-growth-mindset-kids 3. Altruistic Helping in Human Infants and Young Chimpanzee by Felix Warneken & Michael Tomasello #gentleparenting #montessoriathome #positiveparenting
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